Crazy Neighbors = Crazy Night

Ok so I told you all about hanging my comforter on the fence and if you haven't read it you can find it here.....http://lilbrulestheworldtheend.blogspot.com/2011/07/fucking-crazy-neighbor.html....

Ok so I went to talk to the husband, and he is crazy too!!! Basically he told me it was rude to not ask to hang my comforter on HIS fence. Well it HIS fence if I try to hang something on it, its communal property when I tell him it is falling down, and when it falls it will probably be MY fence! LOL. I am pretty sure the fence is only on my property and DOES belong to me, but to prove that you have to have a survey which will cost $1,000.00!!! I don't have that kind of money. I will just find another way to annoy them. If anyone has any ideas on how to prove property lines of be annoying let me know!! LOL
Well all of this caused me to get on the county's web site to see if they had any if on property lines. On their web site I saw a map to look up sex offenders living near you. I just had to look, and in a mile radius from our house there are four sex offenders. Ready for the crazy part?????? I know two out of the four, yep that's right I know them. One is the WIFE of a family friend. The other is a boy I went to private school with. CRAZY!!!! After that I could no longer handle it any more so I went to bed!

Fucking Crazy Neighbor!!!

So I have a loonie as my neighbor. She lives directly behind me and she is fucking crazy!! She has done countless things to us that make her crazy but here is what she did today.......
I had to wash my comforter, so I did. I don't like to put it in the drier soaking wet so I went out to hang it on the fence. I hang it on the fence right out side the back door. There is literally six inches of my comforter on the other side of the fence. I go in, put the kids down for nap, go to the back door to shut the blinds a little, and DAMN my wet comforter in laying in the dirt!!!! Ok I think maybe it was to wet and it fell off the fence. So I go to hang it back up, not realizing it is now muddy, and I hear "Excuse me, Excuse me, that fence is communial property and YOU CANNOT hang anything on it" So I say back "Lynn I am trying to dry my comforter" She says "This is MY fence and You cannot hang anything on it that drapes on my side" So I say back "It is a little immature and very unneighbourly that you wont allow me to dry my comforter" So she says "I have a cloths line, that what they are for, not MY fence" So I end it with "I wish you would have knocked on my door instead of putting my comforter in the dirt, now I have to rewash it, you are immature and crazy"
At that point I hear her car leave and that ends it. She is crazy, she called the cops when we built our fence, she sprayed plant killer over our fence when we had taller plants, she killed our peach tree, she is loonie.
I am going to go talk to her husband he is a little more grounded. If she would have come to my door I would have thought she was crazy, but I would have taken my comforter down and moved on. I am mostly angry that she thought it was approiate to knock it off the fence into the dirt causing me to have to wash it again. The things I would like to do to her..........

Attack of the Snails!!

So my friend Brandy may kill me for sharing this but....I couldn't resist. I was shopping at Wal-Mart today when Chris calls me and says "Brandy just called she is having an emergency" I think o God what happened. Then he says "She need to do something to her water pump but the hole is full of snails and she is terrified of snails" HAHAHAHA I laugh but tell him I will go over there on my way home. I get to Brandys and we get the lid off the hole, now after my conversation with Chris I am thinking there must be huge mutant snail 3" deep. Um no there were like 10! LOL She had dumped a bunch of salt on them so most of them were green slimy goo. So I am digging all the snails out, I show her one that is alive and not gooey, she just goes yuck and I throw it in the bucket. Then I show her one that was slimy from salt and what happens. She starts gagging!! I really thought she was going to puke!!!! At this point I am laughing so hard on the inside I may pee my self!! Needless to say I got the snails out, cleaned the filter and put it back together. Oh Brandy how I LOVE you and your silliness!! I will always be your night in rusty armor!!!

Balls!

Oh there are so many adjectives to describe balls. Hairy, smooth, wrinkly, old, smelly, and many many others. A few weeks ago we had some friends over to drink and me being the weird drunk girl I am decided it would be funny to hit Chris in the junk. Well actually I tried for Jerry too, there were standing next to each other. Lucky for Jerry I missed him, but pounded Chris. This resulted in Chris laying in the backyard, I went to check on him and he asked me to go get Jerry. Well he had Jerry take him from the yard, around the house to the front door and into the bathroom. That is were i found Chris, passed out in the bathroom in his undies!! LOL
Well today Chris tells me he knows the reason it hurts so much to get hit in the nuts...."In the womb we all start as females, our ball are just ovaries that descended, so when we get hit in the balls it hurts so much because our muscles are trying to pull our ball back into our stomach" LOL !!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! I giggle and stare at him for a while, then I decide to google it. We found out it hurts so much. Yes your balls are formed inside your abdomen as a fetus, because of this you have nerves that run from your balls to your abdomen. When you get hit in the balls the pain runs all the way through the nerves causing you to have pain in your abdomen. I told him not to worry you muscles will never pull you balls back into your stomach!! LOL He read on the same web site it is illegal to hit someone in the balls and considered sexual harassment. Now he is threatening to call the cops! LOL I tell him if he calls the cops he deserves to be hit again. He says "then you will have two charges of sexual harassment, and I will not bail you out!!" So I ask what he will do with the kids..."I will figure it out, I will just pay Cooper to take care of them!!" Oh geezo......

Family Reunion

Over the weekend of July 9th we had a mini family reunion. I say mini because it was our Grandma, and all my Aunts and Uncles on my moms side, well all but one. It was a blast!! We all stayed at my moms house which was perfect because there was plenty of room for everyone to camp and play, plus lots to do. We went up on Thursday night to set up camp and hang out with the couple family's who also arrived Thursday night. On Friday we went up the mesa to look around. For those of you who don't know the Mesa is one of the largest flat top mountains, it has over 300 lakes. It is beautiful. It rained a lot while we were up there. There is still snow on the ground so the kids all got to have a snowball fight in July!! I could not believe there was still snow. Once we got down from the mesa everyone els arrived. Friday night was more of a laid back night letting everyone get settled. We made smores and pies over the campfire.

Saturday is when all the fun began!! Every one made a cowboy hat, and every family got a colored bandanna. Our family was purple. Then we played Family Olympics!! The games were, cow pie throwing, seed spitting, wrangle your animals, and roping cows. It was super fun, oh and yes we used real cow pies!! Grandma was really serous about throwing her cow pie. I think the funnies part was when one adult caught a cow pie in the face that a kid had thrown. Then we took a break for lunch. After lunch some of us floated the creek that runs through my moms property. I was worried about being cold, but Derk came to my rescue with a shot of Tequila!! LOL After lunch we did dinner and celebrated birthdays. After some "adult beverages" we played some Minute to Win it games!!!! We had kid versions of every game so everyone could play. Sunday was more of a cool down day, everyone had to pack up and head home. It was a wonderful weekend having everyone together in one place. We already set a date for the next one in two years!!! 

Shitty People of the World Unite!!

So I think it is funny how when people do something wrong they are so defensive, and if there are more than one involved they unite and talk shit like everyone els has a problem not them. I am not going to go into details about this situation.
This is what I think, and this is my blog so that is all that matters!! LOL
If you screw up own it. If you and your buddies screw up, own it. Don't talk shit about innocent people involved and act like they did something wrong.
Here is an example.... when I was 16ish a elderly man ran over my neon, like literally in his F350 over the hood of my neon. When he got out of his car the first thing he did was yell at me "You are on the phone, didn't you see me driving here?" Ok I was on the phone with 911, and ummmm you ran me over. Didn't you see me driving here?
See thats what I mean, he was so defensive and mean. Instead he could have said I am sorry are you ok??
I know I write a lot of things people don't like, and I am fine with it, but it is all the truth. If you don't like it you can tell me, doesn't mean I will stop. But instead of acting like I am the bad, evil, no good one, look in the mirror.
DISCLAIMER!!!!! This is intended for NO ONE INPATICULAR!!!!!!!!! This is just what is on my mind tonight!!! Hopefully tomorrow I will have a blog about my recent family reunion and all the happenings at that!!!

If you break it you buy it!

So last Saturday as in the 2nd of July Chris's little brother (aaron) came into town with his friend (lets just call him bob) and his girlfriend (well call her julie) to get tattoos. Well that night I had Aaron, Bob, Julie, Chris's older brother (Jon), his wife (krysti), and a few others who were not involved over for dinner and some beer pong. Well they all are gettin pretty drunk and shit starts. I don't know what exactly happens but Aaron, and Julie get into it and the next thing I know Bob and Julie are fighting. All the sudden Bob takes off down the street punching things. WTF are you two??? Long story short he punches the shit out of two of my neighbors mailboxes. Not cool I love my neighbors, and we are all really close. Well Aaron, Bob, and Julie had to leave Sunday morning to back to the Air force and Jon says he would take care of everything. He replaced one mailbox Monday night, it was supposed to be done Sunday night but at least it was done. The other neighbors mailbox has yet to be replaced, and on top of that when Bob apologized before he left he lied. He said he had just gotten back from over seas and was blowing off steam. Way to play the pity card, nice hu? I have now decided I have the obligation to fix the mailbox because it is my neighbor and Jon keep saying he will do this and that and never does. He told Chris Thursday before we went out of town that he would go talk to her about a different style or color of mailbox, but he didn't. I know what happened this mailbox was a little harder than going to the store and buy a new one so he just was too lazy to put effort into it. I know he didn't break it, but he did say he would fix it, so it is now his problem. Well actually it is now mine. Like I don't have enough to do. Needless to say it is taken care of and it wasn't hard at all. I called Rubbermaid, got the model number off the mail box, and they told me what to do. I called Bob and gave him the info, because you have to send a check or money order and I refuse to pay for it, and Bob is finishing it. With a little effort this could have been resolved a week ago. People are ridiculous, if you destroy someones property just fix it dam it. If you offer to fix it for the offender, DO IT!!!! If you are to busy, lazy, incompetent to do it them don't offer!!!! Word of the day RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!

Twintuition

I watch a show the other night on twintuition. Doctors say it isn't real that twins have 'telepathic' bond, but if you are a parent of twins you will probably strongly disagree with the doctors. I know say I totally disagree and my twins are only 10 months. Here is what has been going on.....
I will have peyton in the living room tickling her and all the sudden you will hear Charlie in the other room laughing like I was tickling her. They also got Roseola at the same time, on the same day. Ok I know that's not a huge deal but listen to this one. Both girls have their bottom two teeth, usually babies get their front teeth next. Well Charlie skipped those and is now getting her K-9 tooth on the left side. Well I was laying Peyton down the other night and she is now getting the same tooth. So they both have two bottom teeth and the left K-9. Weird right?
I cannot wait to see what the future hold and all the neat twintuition things that come up!!

Men are DUMB!!!!

So yesterday Chris got Teagan up in the morning and he goes"Teagan you stink did you poop?" Then he tells me he thinks Teagan ate some poop because his breath smells. I just roll my eyes, whatever.... Then he starts sniffing Teagans fingers, hands, and body to decide if he ate poop. This may sound crazy to some of you but we have poop issues in our house. If Teagan poops during nap or bed time and wakes up he will play in his poop. We started putting a onsie on him so he couldn't get his diaper off, but he recently discovered he could still reach in his diaper and find the poop. Ok back to the story........ After changing his he continues to sniff his fingers and trying to figure out if Teagan got in his poop. Well after about ten minutes of this crazyness he stops and the day goes on.

This morning we go in to get Teagan and I say "oh, he must have gotten into his poop yesterday there is some on the wall". Chris looks at me and says"that has been there for awhile, I just figured you missed it while cleaning up the last mess." WTF!!!!!!! You have been looking at poop on the wall for how long???? And you did nothing????? Are you fucking crazy???????
Needless to say there is no more poop on the wall, I cleaned it.